Lonely tonight

I am lonely tonight. I'm sitting here without a thing to do other than type on this computer. I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. I don't make friends easily and the ones I do have, have lives to lead. I thought I was invited to my best friend's 30th birthday party. She was going to have it at her parents place on the lake, but I guess since I wasn't there and she never called me, I wasn't invited. I have only been there once and didn't know the way, or I might have just drove over there. Probably a misunderstanding.
Since I don't make friends easy. Meeting a guy is ten times harder. I feel so awkward and stupid. I am ok, if the guy can carry a conversation, but if he can't, I sit there like a knot on a log. I think I am attractive. I own my own home. I am independent and don't have to rely on a man. Maybe that's my problem. I don't need a man.
Ah, well, I guess that's it for now.